life.

August 28, 2012

life……goes by in a hurry

last night i cried myself to sleep, longing for my grandmother, who is  loosing her memory in a big way

its just so sad

i wish i was there to rock her and rub her back

as i was laying on my pillow that was smeared with tears and snot {i was ugly crying}

a life lesson came to me, really a parenting lesson i suppose

you see, growing up, some of my VERY fondest memories are with my grandparents

they lived within minutes from me, in a duplex, on a busy street

old lace curtains, floral couches

the dishwasher was used as a pantry – no joke

there was nothing visibly exciting about her home, only a few toys….if that

and i craved being there. i was there ALL THE TIME

i have told many, that my fondest memories of childhood were there.

what made my life so special with them?  they were PRESENT

they never played games with me, or gave me advice, i don’t recall playing with toys or having any deep conversations, they never got angry with me

{my mamaw is actually the kindest and most innocent women on earth….FACT}

they lived a simple life and included me in everything they did

we would sweep the front walkway morning and night, walk the block to look for pecans, she always made me a coconut cream pie and every saturday we would all 3 load up in a pickup sitting side by side and go in search of garage sales

i would watch cable tv {which we never had at home}, color and wander

their home was quiet – i can remember the sound of clocks ticking

i always slept on a pallet right below her bed and she would tickle my back and tell me little rhymes before i went to sleep

she was never more than 10 ft from me at any given point

i was never a bother, i felt special in their home

the greatest lesson she has taught me is to be present and content {which i have to work on daily}

to include my children in the ordinary and accept them the way they are

to be gentle

to show love

and not criticize their every move

she left me with a feeling of love and acceptance

and yet all she was……….was present

simple. loving. present

15 Comments

Comments

  1. Sarah Nurse says:

    Your words never cease to amaze me. What a beautiful tribute. So much of who you are is because of sweet Mamaw. How truly blessed you are to continue to have her in your life for as long as you have. You are amazing my friend. Love you.

  2. betsy berre says:

    thanks for these words of wisdom.

  3. Jen says:

    a very beautiful realization…what a reminder to all of as parents.

  4. Rachel says:

    Absolutely beautiful! Your tears can be tears of joy for such a wondrful person will continue to live through you and the love she brought you through just being present you can instill in your children. Grandparents are amazing, loving, best friends. It’s so hard to loose them because they are irreplacable.

  5. Holly says:

    I don’t know why… maybe the fact that I don’t feel well, am tired & overwhelmed, but I cried a good cry when I read this. Guilt maybe? Memories, definitely. Anyhow… super sweet… thank you for sharing! And reminding us to be “present”, in every day.

  6. Ko says:

    Beautiful. You had me in tears. Thank you for sharing this with us, for the sweetness, the reminders, the simplicity.

  7. Lindsey says:

    tears are in my eyes right now. missing my grandma…so lucky yours got to meet your babies.

  8. Cindy Turner says:

    That is so true and the perfect memoir of Mowma:-) I shared your memories with her and she so enjoyed it and remembered those days!!

  9. Kate Dykes says:

    I absolutely loved reading this. With busy babies surrounding my days it is easy to not be “present” and I thank you for your sweet reminder of how precious life is. You are such a servant of the Lord and serve us all by your words. Thank you!

  10. Darlene Cozby says:

    My dear child. That was such a beautiful tribute to Mamaw and Papaw and so very true. They both had an unconditional love for you, John and Denise. Quiet love and appreciation of who you were. I am so touched by the love and tenderness expressed in your words and so proud of you. Love you sweetie…Mom

  11. lisamarie says:

    Dear KK,
    I had emailed you a while back and wanted to send you a little note saying thank you for such a honest and beautiful post. My grandparents were simply present in my life too (I remember the clocks ticking and the lace curtains too). A blessed gift at that time and to learn from in this time.

  12. Anna says:

    Beautifully written KK…sounds like the perfect childhood/grandparent experience!

  13. love you. lots.

  14. Katie says:

    Thank you thank you! SO much love to you KK! xoxo

  15. Renee Barker says:

    love this KK – thanks for this sweet and authentic post – such wise words dear friend – love ya!
    Renee

Speak Your Mind

*